Unmasking the Tactics - How Narcissists Use Shame, Insult, Guilt, and the Need to be Right to Maintain Delusions

Narcissists are often successful and likeable (when you have something they want). That’s why they’re great public figures. *Stage Whisper* It’s also why we should simply accept that our entertainers will never be morally pure, but that’s for another time. *End Stage Whisper* They offer a blueprint for success in a modern world that we truly need, albeit dysfunctional. Here it is:

Narcissists use PHRASING to warp reality to their whims. Projection, Humor, Retreat, Aggression, Shame, Insults, Need to be Right, and Guilt to control others, protect their world view. Even undiagnosable people use these tactics opportunistically to avoid and deflect difficult emotions.

 

Projection:

Narcissists may use projection as a form of emotional aggression to deflect from their own faults or negative behavior. They may blame others for their own mistakes or bad behavior and accuse others of the very things that they are guilty of doing.

 

Humor:

Narcissists may also use humor to mock or ridicule others, as a way to feel superior and gain power over them. They might make jokes at someone's expense or use humor to humiliate or degrade them. This type of behavior is a form of emotional abuse and is often used by narcissists to control others and maintain their sense of superiority.

 

Retreating:

When all else fails they walk away.

 

Aggression:

Narcissists may use threats of violence, harm, or abandonment to control and manipulate others. Narcissists may use physical aggression, such as hitting, slapping, or pushing, to exert power and control over their victims.

 

Shame:

Narcissists often use shame to manipulate others by making them feel inadequate or unworthy. They may criticize others for their appearance, intelligence, or actions, making them feel inferior and powerless. By doing so, narcissists gain a sense of superiority and control over the people around them.

 

Insults:

Narcissists use insults to attack their victims' self-esteem and make them doubt their own worth. They may belittle others by calling them names, mocking their opinions or accomplishments, and making sarcastic remarks. This behavior serves to reinforce the narcissist's sense of superiority and diminish the self-esteem of those around them.

 

Need to win:

No matter what narcissists are always right in their mind. Even if you resist all of their attacks and claim to be civil, they will internally resent you for having lost this battle. They’ll search for another opportunity to win the battle. To them, the battle doesn’t end until they win or you’re dead. Seriously, if they give you a stroke, they will think that a win.

 

Guilt:

Narcissists often use guilt to manipulate others into doing what they want. They may use guilt as a weapon to make their victims feel responsible for their negative behavior. For example, a narcissist might accuse their partner of neglecting them, causing them to feel guilty and try harder to please the narcissist.

 

We shouldn’t look down on people who use PHRASING to get what they want. Many people have no idea how the world works or how to get what they want with dignity. The tragedy and luxury of American life has left us without critical guidance and mentorship, but we still gotta get shit done. On some level, they’re doing the right things to the wrong people for the wrong reasons. The best thing you can do is take off the kid gloves and confront the people closest to you. It is our responsibility to help each other figure out how to do, get and express things the right way.