How to Evaluate Someone's Character and Avoid Pitfalls

Evaluating someone's character can be a daunting task, as it's not something that can be easily measured or quantified. People's actions, words, and behaviors can be deceiving, and it's easy to fall into the trap of judging someone based on their appearance or initial impression. This is especially true in the age of social media where everyone can be a model with a few apps and a ring light. Still, it's important to take the time to evaluate someone's character thoroughly, so you don’t get deluded by it. Let’s take a look at how to evaluate a person’s character, assessing your own and the pitfalls to avoid.

 

LOOKS CAN BE DECEIVING

The old adage "never judge a book by its cover" applies just as much to people as it does to books. Appearance can be deceiving, and it's important to not make assumptions based on how someone looks. Just because someone is well-dressed, attractive, or charismatic doesn't necessarily mean they have good character. It sounds cliché but it’s important to remember that beauty blinds.

It's also important to be aware of our own biases and prejudices. We may be more likely to judge someone positively or negatively based on their race, gender, or other factors that have nothing to do with their character. This is why crimes are mostly committed within our own races and relationship scammers claim to have so much in common with you.

To truly evaluate someone's character accurately, we need to put aside any preconceived notions we have about them and focus solely on their actions, words, and behaviors.

 

THINGS PEOPLE DO TO DECEIVE

Most people are stupider than they are evil. Unfortunately, some people are more evil than they are stupid. Both of these people may deliberately deceive others to achieve their goals or gain an advantage. Usually cause it’s the easiest way they know to get that particular goal accomplished. Here are some common tactics people use to deceive others:

1. Beauty - They may use their physical appearance to create a false impression of who they are or to distract others from their true intentions. Additionally, someone may use their beauty to hide their flaws or shortcomings, making it more difficult for others to see them for who they truly are. Be honest, you are nicer to people you’re attracted to. It’s almost impossible to presume negative intentions in someone you think is pretty unless you’re jealous of them. Hygiene is more honest than cosmetics.

2. Lying - People may lie about their qualifications, accomplishments, or past experiences to make themselves appear more impressive or desirable. Signs that someone may be lying include avoiding eye contact, inconsistent statements, changes in voice, physical indicators such as fidgeting or touching their face, unusual behavior like becoming defensive or evasive, and overcompensating by making repeated or exaggerated claims.

3. Manipulation - People may use subtle or overt manipulation tactics to get what they want, such as guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or playing on someone's emotions. Manipulative tactics are designed to make someone feel a certain way or to influence their behavior, often without their full awareness or consent.

4. Inconsistency - People may present themselves as one way in some situations and another way in others, making it difficult to get a clear read on their character. People who are the same in all situations are more likely to be authentic. Yes, this includes code switching.

5. Lack of accountability - People may refuse to take responsibility for their actions or blame others for their mistakes. If someone can’t explain fault without blaming someone else, red flag. If someone can’t admit their part in a toxic situation, red flag – there is almost always synchronicity in these situations. Allowing bad behavior doesn’t count.

6. Hidden agendas - People may have ulterior motives that they're not upfront about, such as seeking personal gain or trying to undermine someone else's success. Look at the outcome of situations not the input. You can input kindness to encourage someone off a cliff.

 

HOW TO SPOT DECEPTION

To evaluate someone's character accurately, it's important to be aware of these common tactics people use to deceive others. Here are some ways to spot deception:

1. Look for inconsistencies - If someone's words or actions don't align with their past behavior or their values, it may be a red flag that they're not being honest. All people of good character are similar at their core. So, inconsistency with past quality people is also a red flag.

2. Pay attention to body language - People's nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions, tone of voice, and posture, can give insight into their true feelings and intentions. People should be expressing themselves, not trying to convince you.

3. Ask questions - If you're unsure about someone's character or motives, don't be afraid to ask direct questions to get a better understanding of where they're coming from. You may find they are stupid and redirectable or evil and quarantinable. Either way, you can set your boundaries accordingly.

4. Observe how they treat others - People's behavior towards others, especially those in positions of power or those they perceive as lower status, can reveal a lot about their character. Respect is required in all interactions. If they are willing to throw away self-respect or respect for others for any reason, throw the whole person away.

5. Look for patterns - If someone consistently engages in deceptive behavior, it's unlikely that it's a one-time occurrence. Look for patterns in their behavior to get a better understanding of their true character. Don’t assume that you are safe because they’ve never hurt you.

 

EVALUATE YOUR OWN CHARACTER

While it's important to be able to evaluate someone else's character, it's just as important to evaluate our own. We all have flaws and weaknesses, and it's important to be honest with ourselves about them. Here are some ways to evaluate your own character:

1. Be introspective - Take the time to reflect on your own behavior, values, and beliefs. Are there areas where you could improve? Are you always late. Do you over commit? Are you terrified of conflict? Do you excuse your bad behavior because of your past? These are common yet horrific character flaws we accept in ourselves.

2. Seek feedback - Ask trusted friends, family members, or colleagues for feedback on your character. Be open to constructive criticism and use it as an opportunity for growth. If no one tells you anything to improve on, they are all lying to you. Either get new friends or admit you are scarring people into silence.

3. Hold yourself accountable - Take responsibility for your actions and hold yourself accountable for any mistakes you make. Find out why you did that thing and how to prevent it in the future while acknowledging any practical harm that occurred. You are not responsible for people’s feelings. You are responsible for failing your duty as a friend, partner, brother, parent, whatever.

4. Live by your values - Identify your core values and make sure your actions align with them. This will help you build a reputation for integrity and consistency. It’s ok to break from the common narrative, even if people hate you for it. It’s also ok not to care about things as much as others. Just be consistent and intellectually honest.

5. Practice empathy - Try to understand others' perspectives and be mindful of how your words and actions affect those around you. We often minimize how much we impact other people, and it allows us to do some of the most terrible shit to people we love.

 

BE CAREFUL NOT TO JUDGE YOUR INTERNAL TO PEOPLE'S EXTERNAL

It's important to remember that everyone has their own journey and struggles. Just because someone appears to have it all together on the surface doesn't mean they're not dealing with internal challenges or personal growth areas. We shouldn't judge our internal selves against other people's external appearances.

It's also important to be aware of our own biases and judgments. We may be more critical of others' flaws than our own, or we may judge people based on superficial characteristics. To evaluate someone's character accurately, we need to approach them with an open mind and a willingness to see beyond any initial impressions.

 

Evaluating someone's character is not an easy task, but it's an important one. Looks can be deceiving, and it's important to look beyond appearances to evaluate someone's true character. We should be aware of common tactics people use to deceive others, such as lying and manipulation, and look for inconsistencies and patterns in their behavior. It's also important to evaluate our own character and hold ourselves accountable for our actions. Finally, we should be mindful of our own biases and judgments and approach others with an open mind and a willingness to see beyond any initial impressions. By doing so, we can build strong, authentic relationships based on mutual trust and respect.