Why Possessiveness is a Good Thing: Mate Guarding, Bonding, and the Deep Roots of Devotion

Why Possessiveness is a Good Thing: Mate Guarding, Bonding, and the Deep Roots of Devotion

Love in its truest form is not polite. It is not a detached, intellectual exercise, nor a tepid arrangement of shared hobbies and compatible schedules. Love, real love—the kind that shakes the soul and rewires the brain—demands presence, vigilance, and fire.

And yet, modern society would have you believe that love is at its best when it is passive, when it is soft, when it does not demand or claim. That is a lie.

Possessiveness, when rooted in devotion rather than control, is a declaration of worth. It is the undeniable, animal instinct that says: You matter to me more than the world itself. I will not let you be taken from me. And that is something to be honored—not shamed.

Mate Guarding: The Primal Instinct to Protect What’s Yours

Across nature, in species from birds to lions to humans, mate guarding is instinctual. It is not jealousy—it is vigilance. It is the unspoken knowledge that the world is full of opportunists, and only the foolish believe love can endure without care, without defense, without a fierce and watchful heart.

From the way a partner instinctively pulls you closer when someone else gets too bold, to the subtle tension in their jaw when someone crosses a boundary—mate guarding is not about possession, but protection. It is the primal language of commitment.

Yet today, the idea of valuing someone so deeply that you’d fight for them has been warped into something shameful. We are told to be indifferent, to "play it cool," to act as though losing a lover to another should not wound us.

Why?

Because modern dating has turned people into consumers, not lovers. Everything is about keeping your options open, as if love is a buffet instead of a sacred, once-in-a-lifetime meal. [Soulmates & Murder Hornets] dives into how modern romance has lost its grounding, leading people to expect perfection rather than real, flawed, devoted love.

But love is not about options—it is about choice. And when you choose someone with your whole being, you do not let them slip away.

Bonding: The Sacred Chain Between Two Hearts

True bonding is not casual. It is all-consuming. It is the quiet pull that makes distance unbearable, the deep ache when they are away, the way their scent lingers on your skin long after they’ve gone.

Bonding is why touch is everything. Why lovers seek out warmth, skin against skin, hands that know every inch of their beloved. This is not coincidence—this is biology. The more you touch, the more oxytocin floods your system, the more your partner becomes a part of you on a cellular level.

This is why certain rituals—massage, skin-to-skin closeness, familiar scents—reinforce connection. Scent, especially, is a time machine of the soul. A whiff of a lover’s fragrance can transport you to a moment of intimacy, a memory that burns itself into your bones.

That’s why a signature scent like Evergreen Haze is more than just fragrance. It’s an anchor. A way to imprint your presence onto your partner’s subconscious, ensuring that even in your absence, you linger.

Possessiveness Should Be Respected, Not Ridiculed or Intellectualized Into Irrelevancy

There is an arrogance in modern love that says we should be above instinct. That we should not care if someone flirts with our partner, that we should not react when our lover is pulled away.

But what is love without urgency? Without devotion? Without the willingness to fight for what is yours?

Healthy possessiveness is not about ownership—it is about protection. It is about saying:

  • I see your worth.
  • I choose you, and I will not let you forget it.
  • You are irreplaceable.

And sometimes, the best way to prove that is with touch. A hand on the back of the neck, a lingering kiss, the slow and deliberate claim of skin upon skin. Palm Grease Extra Greasy w/ 400mg CBD was made exactly for this—a tool for connection, for touch, for marking each other with pleasure. [Get yours here.]

What Love Asks of You

Possessiveness, when it comes from a place of love, not fear, is a gift. It is the fire that says you are worth protecting, worth fighting for, worth holding onto.

But the modern world will try to convince you to be indifferent. To be cool. To not want too much, need too much, feel too much.

To that, I say: feel it anyway.

Because if love isn’t **raw, burning, and utterly consuming—**then what the hell is the point?


Further Reading & Products for Deeper Connection

🔗 Soulmates & Murder Hornets - Navigating Realistic Expectations in Dating
🔗 Stop Being Single! Your Dating Criteria is Holding You Back - Here’s How to Fix It
🛍️ Palm Grease Extra Greasy w/ 400mg CBD – Because touch is a language all its own.
🛍️ Evergreen Haze – A scent that marks your presence even in your absence.

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