The Single Woman's Guide to Aging Alone

Women have fought for equal rights and opportunities for decades and they’ve won them. But making use of freedoms is often more difficult than actually winning them. One of these opportunities is the ability to age alone, without being defined by societal norms that dictate they must have a man or romantic partner to grow old with. However, the thought of aging alone can be daunting for many women. But fear not, there are many options available for women who want to age alone.

Platonic marriage

This is a marriage between two people who have no romantic interest in each other, but rather have chosen to share their lives together. It provides a sense of companionship and security, without the pressures of a romantic relationship. This is the core of marriage’s societal purpose without pressures for sex or children. There’s full autonomy, just two people working together through life.

Retirement pools

This is when a group of friends come together to pool their resources to invest in a retirement fund. It helps to ensure financial stability in later years and provides a sense of community and support. The best part is that everything is done under contract with a qualified professional to protect from greed. This is often a safer option than the willy nilly way we handle traditional marriage.

Mental health

Living alone can bring a lot of negative mental health benefits. Make sure you keep a good relationship with a therapist who can keep an eye on you. It’s easy to become the inspiration for a character in children’s film if we don’t keep up on that.

Rent-a-bae

For those who are financially stable, it's also possible to rent a man for specific needs. Escort services are available for sexual needs, while companion services offer non-sexual companionship. You could also consider the well-trodden pool boy, gardener, milk man path if you’ve got the rest handled yourself. BTW Rent-a-bae is a real company, by the way.

Invest in sex toys

A woman who wants to live alone usually can satisfy herself with the right tools. With no one in your house, you can get your dildoes, fuck machine, Hitachis and got at it till you’re content.

Landlady life

Owning an apartment building is also a viable option for women who want to provide income and housing. This can provide generational wealth and a sense of purpose in later years. You and your dog can run that shit with an iron fist until glory comes a calling; no man in sight, taking up space and breathing your air. This is a totally realistic life for the business-minded woman.

Accept your choices

It's important to note that choosing to age alone does come with some sacrifices. Women may lose out on some of the benefits of a traditional relationship, such as emotional and physical support. But it's okay to make this choice. It's a sign of the progress we have made in society, where women are free to choose their own path and define their own lives. It’s best not to labor over the what-ifs and live the life you’ve chosen.