The Adult Jealousy Epidemic
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At the big age of 38, I want to share the one lesson I learned this year that I think will change your life: basically, everyone is jealous of you.
Yes, you. If you’re here reading this, that means you can read and—more importantly—you choose to read for fun. That’s already something people envy. I can write because it’s my passion, and even that simple fact makes people jealous. Which tells you how far and deep-seated jealousy runs. It’s not about what you have; it’s about what someone else thinks they don’t.
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Childhood, the breeding ground of envy
Growing up, I had a mom who wasn’t the warmest but was still the best mom in the whole area. She fed me, cared for me, and put me in positions to be smart, confident, and well taken care of. That kind of foundation makes you elite in ways other people can see but can’t touch. My cousins were jealous simply because I had a mom who gave a damn.
Add to that the fact that I could speak well, and suddenly I was “better.” People hate that. They hate the smoothness of words, the confidence of creativity, the way you move with skills they don’t have.
Adulthood doesn’t fix it
Fast-forward and nothing changed. I’m creative in a million different ways, and people resent it. They don’t want to help, not because they can’t, but because they think I shouldn’t need it. To them, I’ve already “won.” And in their eyes, helping me would be helping someone who’s already ahead. That’s the ugly math of jealousy.
The mirror check
But let’s be real. I’m not immune to this. I’ve caught myself side-eyeing a man who’s skinnier or more handsome and thinking, he’s got it better than me. In those moments I forget my own gifts, just like other people forget theirs when they look at me.
That realization shifted everything. Jealousy isn’t just a poison—it’s also proof. It’s proof people see your shine. They may hate it, but they still see it.
The unexpected reframe
For a long time I thought positive things should always get positive reactions. If I succeeded, people should cheer. If I created something beautiful, people should clap. But that’s not how life works. What’s positive for me can look like a negative for them. Anything you have that they don’t will feel like subtraction in their eyes.
And yet—this is where the beauty sneaks in—their jealousy is confirmation. It means they see you. They recognize what you bring, even if their reaction is sour.
Friends, foes, and the silent audience
The people truly in competition with you are your friends—the ones who push you, challenge you, and grow alongside you. That’s the healthy competition of iron sharpening iron.
Everyone else? They might smile, but don’t expect them to clap. If you’re the only one doing something special, don’t be surprised if the room stays quiet.
Final word
So here’s the takeaway: jealousy isn’t proof you’re doing something wrong; it’s proof you’re doing something worth noticing. Don’t let the silence fool you. Sometimes, the lack of applause is just envy in disguise.
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