You've got a laundry list of qualities that you demand in a partner, but are those really helping you find love? Let's face it, your high standards may be the exact reason you're still single. Here's how your criteria is sabotaging your love life:
Sorry to break it to you, but no one's perfect. If you're holding out for someone who ticks off every box on your checklist, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. A successful relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and communication - not just a list of qualities. Plus, you may not even have the social credit to qualify for the partner of your dreams. Most people are average and will marry average.
Limited Dating Pool
If you are only willing to consider partners who meet certain criteria, such as a specific race, age range or occupation, you are choosing to miss out on potential connections with great people who don't fit your narrow parameters. You do not have as many options as you think you do. Just cause you can open Tinder or Grindr and get validation doesn’t mean the list of people willing to settle down with you is nearly that high. Anyone reading this is likely a 5 in social value and your pool is 5s, unless you’re exceptional.
Focus on the Wrong Qualities
Looks and money may be nice, but they won't sustain a relationship in the long run. Instead, focus on qualities such as kindness, empathy, reliability in rough times, willingness to do what others won’t, communication skills, and shared values. These are the qualities that will build a deep, meaningful connection with your partner. This is especially true for younger people who are more likely to get caught up on looks and status.
Stop Hunting Red Flags
While it's important to be aware of red flags, it's equally important not to go hunting for them. If you're too focused on finding problems with a potential partner, you may overlook the good qualities that could make for a successful relationship. Plus, it's important to give people a chance to show you who they truly are, rather than jumping to conclusions based on a few small details.
The way we make a list is often backwards. Since we don’t have the most partner options, we need to know what we won’t accept. Truthfully, you should make a list of absolute deal breakers and work from there. Being a 6 figga nigga does not outweigh a lack of emotional availability. Having the juiciest poonani this side of the Mississippi doesn’t outweigh a lack of cooperativeness. Pay attention to your intuition, not what your friends say you should be looking for - It’s the blind leading the blind there. You know best who would fit you best.
Missing Out on Opportunities for Growth
Finally, having a strict set of dating criteria can prevent you from taking advantage of opportunities for personal growth and self-discovery. By being open to dating people who may not fit your exact mold, you may discover new interests, perspectives, and ways of thinking that you never considered before. You may also learn more about yourself and what you truly want in a relationship. The people around us have a larger sway on the things we think we want than we realize. By keeping an open mind and being willing to take a chance on someone who doesn't fit your exact criteria, you may open yourself up to new experiences and personal growth. This is true whether you join someone’s life, or they join yours.
Having standards is important, but it's time to reconsider if they're really helping you find love. By keeping an open mind and focusing on the qualities that truly matter, you may just find the deep, meaningful connection you've been looking for.