It's a lazy, snowy Monday here at Chez Butters. And while I sit here peaceful and alone, I've got romance on the mind. It is the first day of February (Black History 365, HOLLA!) and that means our designated day of romance is peaking around the corner. Since we've been locked in the house and many of us are losing our social graces - not to mention getting bored of the same old faces - I figured it's the perfect time for a refresh on unique ways to infuse romance into your every day life.
Here's 5 of my favorites that don't have to cost a dime and can even be done for yourself.
1. Write them letters/notes.
While gifts are always a nice way to let your partner know they're on your mind, gifts with meaning and gifts that are handcrafted signify a deeper level of understanding and loving your partner. Try writing hand-written letters such as, “open when you are happy,” or “open when you are imagining our future.” These letters are thoughtful and symbolic of your love. You could also be less cheesy and tell them all the kinky, freak shit you're excited to do. Maybe thank them for a time they made you nut so hard your consciousness slipped into the 6th dimension. You could also just say, "Hi." Writing notes for yourself could be in the form of a journal or even little reminders to make your life easier - have you taken your meds?
2. Go on little adventures.
Take your partner out on a surprise adventure to a place you both like. It can be anything-coffee shops, a drive-in, or a hobby shop. Maybe you visit a comic store before dinner one night to shop for Doctor Who figurines. Now this hobby of collecting all of the Doctors is something you both get excited about doing. Maybe you plan a road trip and make some memories on Lake Michigan at Sunset. I'm heavy on the wanderlust so showing me something big and beautiful is bound to set my eyes to sparkling. In COVID times taking an actual adventure might not be in the cards, so maybe try a psychedelic one instead. It's unlikely you've actually gotta show up somewhere the next day.
3. Don’t forget to touch them - If they're into that sort of thing.
You would think this would be basic knowledge; why wouldn’t you touch the person you love? But honestly, I'm personally not super touchy and have to be reminded. Kiss them when you get out of bed in the morning to prepare for work and kiss them once more before you leave or sit down. A gentle caress as you cook dinner together, as you cuddle on the couch watching a movie. Hold their hand, tickle them, play with their hair or beard. You can even be more structured and give them a massage. We don't say it often but most people like being pet just like our pets.
4. Stay in bed a little longer.
The shower can hold off on a few more minutes so you can spoon with your bae. The fact that you are choosing to stay in bed, rather than throwing yourself into your morning routine shows your partner that you are hesitant to leave them - that you want to be there in bed and spend more time, even if that time only equates to five minutes. Cuddling is one of the more romantic ways to be with your partner in bed without implying something sexual….but if it does lead to morning sex , go for it. Even if you're not super touchy just being close together in bed maybe watching a TV show or playing video games, enjoying quality time will enhance your intimate connection.
5. Take time apart.
This may seem counterintuitive because generally when you think of a romance you think of togetherness. But the simple fact is sometimes you need to be alone to gain perspective on what is really important. You may also need to build some separation and tension between you. Even if nothing is missing, alone time can help you bring your best self to your partner. Time apart also gives you the chance to be inspired for more things to do together. When I'm out going for drives I see all sorts of things that I say would be cool to do with my friends. If you are more concerned about being romantic with yourself, taking time out of your life as you normally spend it to reconnect with your body is roughly the same. You'll be able to come back to your everyday life better than ever.
Some of the simple things in life are the things that impact you the most. Lasting relationships revolve around the nature of the love you set for each other. Taking some of these ideas into consideration will inevitably allow you and your partner to be more romantic - even if it's just with yourself.