The Myth of Self-Love: Why External Love Matters

In the age of self-help books and inspirational Instagram posts, the idea that self-love can fully substitute for the love of another has gained popularity. However, it's time to debunk this modern myth. So, let's explore why external love, whether romantic or otherwise, remains crucial for our well-being and why the myth of self-love as a complete substitute may be more about marketing and economics than genuine fulfillment.

1. The Chemical Connection:

a. Oxytocin and Dopamine: When we experience love and connection with others, our brains release oxytocin and dopamine—hormones associated with bonding, pleasure, and happiness.

b. Emotional Fulfillment: These chemical reactions contribute to our emotional well-being, creating a sense of fulfillment that can't be replicated through self-love alone.

2. The Importance of Social Bonds:

a. Evolutionary Perspective: From an evolutionary standpoint, humans are social creatures. We've evolved to thrive in communities and to seek connection with others.

b. Emotional Support: External love provides us with emotional support, a sense of belonging, and a safety net during challenging times.

3. Marketing and the Self-Love Myth:

a. Profit-Driven Society: In a consumer-driven society, it's in the interest of marketers to promote the idea that self-love can fully replace external love. It keeps us focused on personal growth and consumption.

b. FOMO and Consumerism: By perpetuating the myth of self-love, social media and advertising create FOMO (Fear of Missing Out), driving consumerism and economic growth.

4. The Reality of Human Connection:

a. Complex Needs: While self-love is essential, it can't fulfill our complex needs for companionship, intimacy, and emotional connection that external love provides.

b. Interdependence: Recognizing our interdependence on others is a more honest and fulfilling perspective, fostering healthier relationships and communities.

5. Balancing Self-Love and External Love:

a. Self-Care: Self-love remains crucial for our mental and emotional well-being. It's the foundation upon which we build healthy relationships.

b. Healthy Relationships: Embracing external love, whether through friendships, family, or romantic partnerships, complements self-love and creates a more balanced and fulfilling life.

While self-love is an essential aspect of our well-being, it's not a complete substitute for the love of another. The myth of self-love as a standalone solution may be perpetuated by marketing and social media, but true fulfillment comes from recognizing the significance of external love and human connection. In a world driven by consumerism, it's essential to strike a balance between self-love and the love we share with others, as this harmony fosters genuine happiness and emotional well-being.