As you guys know I've been doing a lot of thinking as of late. And it occurred to me that I have a lot of friends. This is something that is not exactly new for me, I've always been surrounded by people who enjoy my presence. But what is new is that I actually enjoyed their presence as well.
That's probably a little shocking to hear for a lot of people seeing as I'm 34 years old and I didn't know most of these people when I was young or in college.
In fact, I met most of them this year... considering you see posts all over the Internet asking how do people make friends as an adult, I clearly should share my secret. Unfortunately for a lot of people it's going to be one you probably heard before: open up.
Friendship requires vulnerability. You have to be willing to share the things you like and don't. You're going to have to share why you work the way you work. You’re to have to be honest about the type of friendships want to have. When We're Young these things come to us natural. We have yet to really be scarred by the world and close ourselves off to new people and experiences - #nonewfriends is a concept children just do not comprehend in general. Children also have a very easy time making friends.
I've gone through periods in my life of being both closed and opened when I'm closed off, I never make friends. I never meet new people or get new experiences. But when I open myself up the whole world opens itself up to me.
Last summer I started working on this for myself by going out and finding a bar that I could frequent. I ended up going to one that was leather and bear-centric, very gay. Doing that regularly has allowed me to meet all sorts of new people, practice my social skills, and make friends. It also encourages me to keep exploring the world as the novelty of life has started to wane with age.
Living in the Midwest you can kind of get the idea that the world's a bit closed and boring outside of big city. Truthfully even folks in bigger cities share an intense sense of loneliness as well.
That's so sad when the whole world is wide and amazing and full of people just waiting to be your friend. The real truth is that you have to open yourself up and be welcoming to new people being in your life. It's time to relearn how to be a friend. It's one those the be the change you want to see in the world sort of things.
Even though it's a bit cliche that's...