Human Interaction - A Guide for Awkwards, Autistics, And All Other Animals

Although we are humans, most of us never actually learned the rules of engagement for these beautiful and majestic primates. Here I will go over the basics of interacting with and befriending a human.   

The scientific name for modern humans is Homo sapiens. The genus name, Homo, refers to the human lineage, while the species name, sapiens, means "wise" or "intelligent" in Latin. The name Homo sapiens reflects our unique combination of physical and behavioral characteristics, including our large brain size, complex social structures, and advanced language abilities.

Approach with caution:

Humans can be unpredictable creatures, so it's always best to approach them with caution. Don't make any sudden movements or loud noises that could startle them. Keep your body language open and relaxed. Make eye contact and make sure your facial expression is welcoming.

Speak their language:

Humans communicate with a variety of sounds, gestures, and facial expressions. To communicate effectively with them, you'll need to learn their language. This can be a bit tricky, as humans have a lot of regional dialects and slang. Be patient and don't be afraid to ask for clarification. Learning their language is a quick way to bond.

Watch their body language:

Humans are very expressive with their body language. If their arms are crossed, it's a sign that they may be feeling defensive or closed off. If they're smiling and making eye contact, it's a good sign that they're open to interaction. Pay close attention to their body language to gauge their mood.

Offer food:

Like many wild animals, humans are often lured by the promise of food. If you're looking to make friends with a human, offering them a snack or a beverage can be a good way to break the ice. Just make sure the food is safe for human consumption! Candy, fruit are always a winner. For adults drugs and liquor is always quicker. A friend with weed is a friend indeed, as many English-speaking humans are fond of saying.

Respect their boundaries:

Humans are territorial creatures and may become aggressive if they feel their personal space is being invaded. Always ask permission before touching or hugging a human and be mindful of their personal boundaries. Humans are ok with being pat on the shoulder but that’s the only universally safe place for strangers. Once you have earned their respect, they may let you pet them, hold their hand, cuddle, and really bring you into their personal bubble.

Use positive reinforcement:

Like many animals, humans respond well to positive reinforcement. If a human does something you like, give them a compliment or a pat on the back. This will encourage them to continue the behavior in the future. Express your appreciation and humans will like you more.

Avoid confrontations:

If a human seems agitated or confrontational, it's best to back off and give them some space. Trying to argue with a human is rarely productive and can often escalate the situation. While not blindly violent, they are still wild animals who should be treated with respect and deference.

Remember, humans are complex creatures with a wide range of emotions and behaviors. By approaching them with respect and caution, you can develop a strong bond with these fascinating animals!